If you are in the process of separating, here are four steps to support you in finding the new beginning you and your family deserve.
1. Be “for” the other person. In the old model of divorce, there is a winner and a loser. In the new paradigm, you both win! You help each other be your best. This may sound crazy, but it will benefit both of you.
2. Focus on what you’ve gained, not what you’ve lost. Celebrate the gifts you’ve given each other. Be grateful for the experiences you shared with all their highs and lows. When you adapt to that frame of mind, you will see valuable lessons that allow you to grow beyond the marriage.
3. Choose your kids over being right. Put your kids first. Don’t fight in front of your kids or speak negatively about your ex to your kids. As Gwyneth beautifully said, you are and always will be a family. Protect that family with everything you have.
4. Never say I won’t love again. Maybe you are not ready now, but know that you deserve to find love again. When you say, “I won’t love again” you’re telling your subconscious you are not worthy of love. You are worthy of love, but it’s only going to happen if you believe it will! Tell yourself that you will love again and mean it. And when you do find love, keep in mind strategies 1 and 3 so that your growing family continues to be whole.
Remember this: People who separate well, live well! Choose to honor your history, interact lovingly and fearlessly create anew.